A Moment - Day - Week - Month - Year

Psa 18:32 It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect.

It is from God that I get my strength, and it is He that directs our path. Without the Lord this last year would not have been possible.

It is through the strength of the Lord that we have made decisions, and though to some they seem obvious... until you walk it, you'll never know the struggle. My prayer, none of you ever has to walk this path. Through these blog entries you've had a glimpse into our lives this last year- a year that has been lived moment by moment, day by day, week by week... you get the picture.

It is almost dizzying to my comprehension that this all started basically a year ago, it was a year ago that Glenn had an ultra sound, that appt. was the beginning of what has been a long road. Yesterday, a year, a moment... at times it's still very surreal, in spite of living it day to day. 

During this year we have learned to become weak- so that the Lord may be strong for us. We have learned to really try to view each day for the miracle that it is. We are all so truly blessed in our lives that we take so much for granted... to quote a famous statement 'Stop and smell the roses,' do it, even if they make you sneeze, at least you have the breath within you to sneeze!

Live life! Don't just sit there and let the days pass one into the other, even on those challenging days, find something to be thankful for. Do something, press forward,  reach out, there is always someone that you can touch, something simple as a smile can make a big difference in someones life, and a hug... when you mean it, that's something that touches the soul.

Don't sweat the small stuff-- we've all heard that, and if anyone else is like me, the thought is; 'But what is the small stuff?' Well in many ways... it's all the small stuff! Yes, I know that there are major things going on, but remember in the grand scheme of things, it's small... because we have a Great Big God!! So, when you start to stress remember; LET GO AND LET GOD!

Don't become isolated in life, it's hard to live life when you allow yourself to become isolated. Personally this is probably the area I struggle in the most. Not because it's what I want, but it's just an easy thing to slip into. We have been blessed with so many family members and friends that I know care, they have let us know, through calls, texts, Facebook and when we see them, and that has been more helpful than I think I can ever explain.

Thank you to each of you who have stood with us this past year, and who continue with us in this journey. We know that as we continue to press forward and do what the Lord has called us to do, He will be faithful to His promises.

We are thankful that the Lord has sustained Glenn for the last year (especially considering the doctors were thinking more like a 3 month max) and that the healing is at hand. We serve an amazing God!! He sent His Son Jesus over 2000 years ago to be the sacrifice offering, not only for our Salvation but also for our Healing, the two do go hand in hand... Isaiah 53:5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.

Be Blessed!

A Day of Thoughts...

Valentines, yes we all know what that is... lol... love.

I sit here thinking back 33 years, it was about 6 p.m. I think, and my phone rang... that was back in the days of landlines and cords, and rings, not music announcing a call. Oh, back to the memory, it was Glenn, he had just gotten off of work and wanted to know if I was going to be home, I said that I was. He then asked if he could come over, I said yes. 

I wasn't necessarily expecting him to call, we had been dating off and on for a while, but nothing specific. So when he called I was happy, made a mad dash to the store for some sort of Valentine and figured he'd get there and we'd go do something... well I was unprepared for what happened, lol. When he arrived, he had a bouquet of flowers for me, and in them was a card that asked a seemingly simple question, "Will you be my steady Valentine?" 

Well you know what I said? Nothing... then I said, "I'll be right back." LOL... I look back- what a dork I was! (still am?) Well I went to the other room and shoved the card at my mom, somewhat in shock. Then in a brilliant moment <NOT> I said, can I answer later? He being the patient guy he is and has always been, said "Yes," don't think he thought it would take me a month to answer, but at least I said yes eventually. 

I think the card I gave him that night was a warning to him what he was getting into, I can't remember what it said but I remember this... it was a puzzle that had to be put together to read.

Then in December of 1981 we made that "steady" really permanent. We were young, in love and happy to be wed. 

This evening Glenn looked at me and told me he loved me, this isn't unusual, it's been a steady part of our relationship since very early, we remember to say, I Love You on a regular basis. It's what he said after that touched me. 

Here he is, 11 months (today) in this battle against cancer, and he looks at me and says, "I'm sorry for putting you through this." I walked over to him and curled up next to him and reminded him, that I agreed to it a long time ago on a December day... 

Very few people speak their vows on their wedding day and really think about the depth of them-- Yeah you think of better or worse; cuz you know their will be up and downs. You realize the part of for richer or poorer... not to many of us never have any financial stresses. But somehow, the one, "in sickness and in health," well you just don't think about. It, however, is another part of those vows-- and it, is when you really understand what it is to love and care about someone else.

I can wish I could wave  a magic want and 'boom!" cancer would be gone... but I can't. But what I can do is show my husband how much I love him by standing shoulder to shoulder with him in this fight. I will do my best to be what I am called to be- his helpmate suitable. I pray with him, and for him, I stand firm on the promises of the Lord, and I look forward to future Valentine's Days where we celebrate the day he asked me, to become we.

Today ,we enjoyed a lunch at Angelos and talked of that day so long ago... you know, I really am glad I said yes. He's an amazing husband, and man of God. To say that I love him, well that is an understatement; but I don't know how else to say the depth of my feelings for the incredible gift that God gave me when he brought Glenn into my life.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

The Battle is the Lords

Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart And lean not on your own understanding In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones.

Psalms 46:10-11 Be still, and know that I am God I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge.

This last year the segment from Proverbs has taken on, how do I say this... an expanded meaning in our lives. While I have always understood the obvious part, we are really pressing to a new level, looking for, and seeing the promise of the last sentence... health to your flesh, and strength to your bones. 

Since this battle started almost 11 months ago, we have grown to press further when seeking the Lord's direction in all things. It was the Lord who directed us in the course of treatment in the cancer battle, He gave us on day 1, the three fold cord that we were to follow; 

• Spiritual; Pressing, praying for us and others, sharing what He is doing
• Medical; Staying here, doing chemo and trusting Him (the Lord) to have Glenn's back against the side effects. And we can say they have been minimal, especially for the intensity of the treatment that they have him on.
• Nutritional; This is a big on, and it most certainly had it's bumpy start- Glenn was so sick last year that he could barely eat, and that caused a negative cycle. It was a circle, he wasn't hungry, so he wouldn't eat much, that reduced what appetite he had, and that made him less hungry... And as I shared in one of the early entries of this blog, the realization hit-- he was starving himself to death... however because the Lord helped us see this, and gave us the path back to a healthy weight and appetite. This way he had the strength he needed for the battle. Recently, we have begun the next shift in this area, it involves a lot of study, (following God's lead) and shifts in the eating. For the 6 months from July to Jan. we were looking primarily on getting his weight up, and stable, we have reached that, he is pretty much stabilized at about 200 pounds and now we are shifting from just thinking about calorie intake, to a more healthy diet, one that will focus on creating an environment that will be good for Glenn and bad for the cancer. Again it is God's leading.

We know that ultimately the battle is the Lord's, we are trying as a team to do what He would have us to do, to obtain the victory in the natural that He has shown us in the spiritual.

We have an amazing group of people around us that I cannot thank enough- the support and prayers through the battle have definitely helped us in this fight, they are a part of the spiritual strand of that cord.

There are many times during the last 11 months that doing what is spoken in Psalms 46 has been so important to remember... To be still and know that He is God, and He is our refuge. I lean heavily on this thought at those times when the battle rages on in my thoughts, I know who is in charge, and I remind the enemy of that... I am very thankful that I have the Lord to press into when I am weak-- in Him is my strength.

I've love the song, The Warrior is a Child, since the first time I heard it. If you've never heard it, here are the lyrics and a youtube video:

Lately I've been winning battles left to right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
I'm strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

[CHORUS]
They don't know
That I come running home when I fall down
They don't know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Cuz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
I never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at his feet 

[CHORUS]
They don't know
That I come running home when I fall down
They don't know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Cuz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

They don't know
That I come running home when I fall down
They don't know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
Cuz deep inside this armor (deep inside)
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child (chorus)