Thanksgiving Thoughts...

Happy Thanksgiving!

I really wasn't sure how I would be emotionally going into today, but as of this moment I can honestly say, I think I'm going to be okay... yes moments, but really okay.

I did something that I have done for the past few years that really has helped. Each day of November up to today, I posted something I was thankful for. It really did something.

It may seem trivial to say, "count your blessings," but trust me, if you do, you will realize that there is so much to be thankful for. I see the hand of God on my life, yes, even in... no, especially in this last 20 months. I am blessed! 

I miss Glenn immensely- especially this morning, in a funny way. You see, I know how to cook a turkey, well at least I used too, but Glenn's love of cooking had a way of overtaking him so that no matter who started cooking he seemed to take over the job- even last year when the girls were doing the Christmas dinner, he just couldn't help himself. It started about 5 years after we were married, and well, this morning I had to remember how to do a turkey- yes, now I was a bit annoyed at him because of this, darn it, he should be doing it! LOL 

I am thankful for the sense of humor that the Lord has given me, it's a little warped but He uses it to jog memories that can't help but make me smile. He is so good and faithful to me, gently helping me through every day. With each memory I find more reasons to be thankful- here is my thought, if you want to find joy in the everyday, have a thankful heart!

I am blessed today with all of my children, my grandchildren and Glenn's parents coming over for the holiday meal; and we are doing a mini-Christmas for Jeremy, Whitney and Asher since they can't come back from Alaska next month... It will be a joyous day and make more memories.

Beginning tomorrow on my facebook I have a sort of spin on what I did this month, it will focus on holiday memories... helping to stir thankfulness in the every day.

Be Blessed and Have a Great Thanksgiving!!!
Rejoice and in all things give thanks!!

Observations...

Part of my job is to make deliveries, this takes me to all parts of the south end of Medford, upper east side to far west side as well as Phoenix and I have seen a lot. I have been to the poorest of neighborhoods and some of the wealthiest; views of the whole valley and views of a dirty rundown trailer park under a freeway overpass.  But this last week while I was delivering pizzas for work I saw a couple things that really hurt my heart and really caused me to think more about the statement made by Bill Wilson -- It is easier to raise up boys and girls for the Lord than to fix broken adults.

This may sound weird, but what I saw may have struck me even more than the poverty I have seen... Two deliveries, both to kind of average apartments, but what I felt and saw was hatred, and it's not what you may think. Both deliveries were to young people, between 19-23 and the hatred was reflected differently in both of them. 

The first was a smiling young lady, who if you were to see her in jeans and a t-shirt would have seemed fine, but she answered the door in shorts... the reason for my assumption of hatred you ask. The self mutilation she was doing to herself, on her legs were so many scars and marks of cutting. This girl, has something in her life creating a self loathing, it broke my heart. As I approached my car my eyes had tears in them, I began to pray for her. She needs to know that there is a God in heaven that is there, no matter what has been going on in her life, He is there and He loves her. I pray that she will find Him and the peace and love that He can bring into her life. She needs to learn that through Christ she can begin to love herself.

The second place that I delivered that struck my heart, did so for an entirely different reason. The young man that opened the door was nice enough, but behind him on the walls of his apartment were 3 Nazi flags, again I don't know that he even understands the truth of the level of hatred that these symbols represent. My heart broke for him for a different reason, if he understood what they mean then someone has taught him to hate... that kills me, I can't imagine raising a child into an adult that hates another because of race or nationality... wrong, just wrong!! If he doesn't understand, then I hope someone can explain it to him and help him to see the truth and for him to decide to take them down. This one didn't evoke tears, but nonetheless it brought forth prayer. I pray that he meets the Lord and learns to love others not hate or glorify things that represent hatred.

I have had a rough year or so, but being out and about delivering pizzas has helped me to count my blessings, and there have even been a few times that the Lord has used me to minister to others. All in all, it reminded me that no matter what has happened, what I have walked through, God is good, and He is faithful and loving. Sunday during worship we sang a song that says; Where You go I go, What You say I say, And what You pray I pray, And what You pray I pray... and that is the way I want to live, whether I'm at home or on the job, I want to live a Jesus led life.

A Fresh Awareness

Seasons come and seasons go, days, weeks, months... they blend together, and the years go bye. Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall. Also the seasons of life - infancy, childhood, youth, young adult, middle age... and on.

What is on my mind today is, in a way, a combination of the two types of seasons- nature and life.

I am in a season that I wish I weren't, widowhood, but that being what it is, it has given me the opportunity to reflect upon the seasons of nature in a fresh awareness.

How many of us have gone through the years and, yes we notice the flowers of spring, the foliage of and sun of summer, the color of fall, and the brisk, starkness of winter (though with a beauty of it's own). We all are aware of it, but do we really see it? The intricacy of the seasons?

Over the last 20 months, with the turns my life has taken, I have had the opportunity to began to see these things in a new way. Not just the glance of the day, but with eyes that have slowed down to really see them.

During the 14 month of the cancer battle, my life slowed down to a pace that I hadn't had in many years, life was lived and appreciated in a new way, truly in the moment by moment. Carpe Diem... most of us think of that phrase as "Seize the day." The reality of it is that it's meaning is; 'enjoy the day, pluck the day when it is ripe.' Well that is what Glenn and I began to do during that time, and I am thankful for that, I have some wonderful memories from that horrible time- God is amazing!

After Glenn passed, my life had to make a shift from the slower pace we had been living, I had to hit the ground running and work began to consume my time. The good thing, because my job involves driving, I am able to still take advantage of the lesson of slowing down, I now observe the world around me more.

It's amazing what you see when you are looking!! I've always noticed the seasons in a way that was fairly observant because it's what I love to photograph, but this year I saw it at a new level.

When you go by a tree only once or twice a day or week, you don't see it bloom into the fullness of summer foliage; you just notice, wow the tree is giving some great shade! You see a flower bed go from nothing, to all of a sudden, wow- color! In the fall the trees are green one day and colorful the next time and then empty the time after that.

What I saw this year from my car was an amazing progression of the seasons. I started in June, and the trees were coming into their fullness, I watched them make that progress from thin leaves to the fullness of the season and then something extraordinary this fall, I literally watched the trees change color. When I make deliveries, there are some trees that I pass 10-30 times a day, well, one Saturday I was working a 10 hour shift and about 4 hours in I began to notice something the color change of the trees during that time was noticeable to my eyes... it was like watching the mercury in a thermometer go up. At first I was skeptical of what I was seeing, so I started making mental notes as to the color level and by the end of the day a significant change had occurred. So amazing!!! I wish I had had my camera that day, it would have been cool to have a time lapse series of pictures.

How incredible to watch the hand of the Lord, as right in front of my very eyes, He 'painted' on the colorful canvas of His creation that day, and showed me those brushstrokes. It changed something in me, I now have a new sense of awareness of the world around me. I now watch for the opportunity to see the Master's touch on the things around me, I want to see each and every brushstroke, not just see periodic paintings.

As I have pondered these things, I am suddenly hit by the realization that I must relax and understand that He is 'painting' me into a new season right now, my life is a changing canvas, it feels like a winter season at the moment but I know that the Master is painting me into a spring one... I have no idea how long it will take to get to that next period picture, but I know it will come, and I will trust each brushstroke that He makes upon my life.

Blessings!
Mary