Saturday, July 20, 2013

Faith in the Day to Day

Mark 11:22 So Jesus answered and said to them, "Have faith in God.
1Cor 16:13 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.
2Cor 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Faith... it's mentioned 245 times in the Bible- just what is faith?

Faith defined by Merriam-Webster's Dictionary
1.  a : allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty
     b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions
2.  a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion
     b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust
3.  : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs

Everyday of the last 16+ months has taught me something new about what it means to have faith, to walk in faith, to live in faith.  Faith doesn't mean you don't have fear hit, to me it means that when you do, you remember that you need to let go and let God. That is something that doesn't come unopposed by the enemy. 

Satan does what he can to challenge my decisions to trust God; he tries to create doubt and fear and drive them to a level that will overwhelm me. I'd love to say that I always see it when it starts and get the jump on it immediately... but I don't, so I can't. What I will say is that when I recognise it for what it is, I try to get my head on straight and remember just Who is my source, for all things. 

God is my source, and as long as I get myself into that headspace, then I know everything will work out, He loves me, and is watching out for me. I know that whether it's the waves of loneliness from not having Glenn with me, or the fear of an uncertain future, I can have faith in Him that it's gonna be okay-

I can give those feelings of loneliness to Him, He knows every corner of my heart, He knows how much I miss Glenn- He's the one that blessed me with him as part of my life for 33 years, so I am safe to release those feelings to Him, He brings me comfort in my heart.

I can also have faith that He will lead me into the future He has planned for me, I trust that He has it laid out, He knows the end from the beginning and I know He will take my hand and lead me-- I just need to let Him.

So if you see me, abnormally quiet, and you ask if I'm okay, and I respond, "yeah"... it just means God is growing my faith again... and it is an everyday thing, some days it's easy and I am confident, some it is hard- and I may feel a bit lost, but it really is always good, because it's always moving me forward in the Lord.

The song "I Walk by Faith" is something that has playing a lot in my car over the last month, and this week it was mentioned in a friend's, facebook post...
To me this song is a prayer and a statement, of faith in and of itself... 
I walk by faith, each step by faith 
To live by faith, I put my trust in You. 
I walk by faith, each step by faith 
To live by faith, I put my trust in You. 
Every step I take is a step of faith 
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
 And every prayer I make is a prayer of faith 
And if my God is for me 
Then who can be against me?

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Smiles and Sillyness

I was looking for a picture today and found yet another photo of Glenn sticking his tongue out... lol, it really did make me laugh out loud. You see I didn't remember taking this one. It got me thinking about a lot of things that make me smile. Our relationship was one that was full of smiles and sillyness... yes the Lord was the center from about 6 months after we got married, but that just made it better!!
This is a cropped version of the shot that triggered this blog.

From the first night we met you could tell that if it lasted, then it was going to be a playful relationship. Let me explain; we were at Taco Bell with the friends that 'set us up' (unbeknownst to me, lol). And this guy, that I barely know, thinks that since our friend has thrown his girlfriend over his shoulder then why shouldn't he toss me over his... and then, oh yeah, smack me on the rear end!! Like I have ever been bratty enough to deserve that... heehee. I still smile when I think back- it was the start of many good times to come.

Over the years we really were blessed with a huge amount of good times and fun moments, no matter what else was going on. You see, you don't have to have a lot of money or things to have a great life, joy is far more important, and we had that.

I think that you can see we liked to laugh, being silly was fun (free too). I can't remember what he was laughing about in the prom picture but I know he was being ornery just by the look on my face. Of course at the costume dance we gave the obligatory goofy pose... semi-recreated in reverse, to embarrass the child with a camera years later, only I didn't have a belt in my hand- another photo that made me stop and crack a big grin. We really enjoyed being together, and those memories are with me forever and will bring smiles for years to come. 

One of Glenn's favorite things to do when I had a camera aimed at him was be goofy- weird smiles, glances over glasses, and as mentioned before... sticking out the tongue! Mainly, I think he did to drive me crazy, lol... it worked.

We were blessed to enjoy a couple nice vacations in the last 10 years, a couple cruises, Hawaii, Disneyland and Lake Tahoe (plus a some weekend escapes.) Again, they were filled with fun and exploration, tourist things on the cruises- plus food/silly combined for Glenn, a must. The last cruise we went on we did a jeep excursion with Denny and Jan, and when there was a small creek to be crossed, they told us we could either go slow and steady, or just go fast... well never being one to miss an oppertunity Glenn floored it-- Denny and Jan got soaked with the splash, it went clear over the front seat where we were sitting. When we went to Tahoe, it was exploring the beauty of the area, going out on the paddle boats and just walking around in the wayside parks around the lake. Hawaii meant Pearl Harbor... amazing!! Also touring the Dole Pineapple farm, where our train came off the track, so we didn't actually get to see it, instead we had to walk back to the main building and were given complimentary Dole Whip desserts... and a funny memory.

Our greatest joy (and challenge at times) has been raising a family. Again laughter and fun were woven into it, as were discipline and training. Our older kids remember the harder times on family finances, but they also remember watching Daddy play baseball, and volleyball at picnics- and of course the attack of the "tickle monster!!!" I don't know exactly what all memories they each have, but I'm sure that many of Glenn's silly moments and love of fun came through for all of them.

The last five years have been the joy of grandchildren, the laughter and pure delight in the eyes of a toddler are an amazing thing, Hugs and kisses from the little people were and are a delight. Glenn met all three of his granddaughters and he knew that Asher was on the way, and that brought great delight to both of us. Something I know is that all of our grandchildren will also be raised with lots of sillyness and smiles in their lives also.

Memories are an amazing thing, and to have had the marriage that we had, and to look back at them I can say they are truly a blessing. And through the tears that some of them trigger, they make me smile and flood my heart with sunshine. If I could say one thing to you... If you imagine 10-20 years in the future, remember it's the things that you do now that become those memories then what kind of memories will they be? Make your life one of smiles and sillyness, don't be afraid to have fun!