Dreams, Good-bye's and 2019 Ahead

Proverbs 3 moments -

Prov 3:5-6 ​​Trust in the LORD with all your heart, ​​And lean not on your own understanding; ​​In all your ways acknowledge Him, ​​And He shall direct your paths.

Christmas is over, and the family has gone home, the paper is waiting to go into the trash can when it becomes empty again, my heart is full and I am blessed!!

What a year 2018 has been!! It has been a year of highs and lows and again bringing changes ahead. 

The year ahead was to bring a variety of things, the one I knew was coming was a trip I had dreamed about since I was a child. I also knew it was likely that at some point I would say my last good-bye to my dad... other than that, I had little thoughts on what the year would bring.

My dad was ready to go, he had made peace with the Lord, and since my stepmom Carol had passed in April of 2017 he had told me then that he was ready to go anytime the Lord saw fit. He promised me at that time that he wouldn't do anything to shorten his time here, but he wouldn't do anything to extend it either.

In February, I got a call- it looked like my 92 year old dad was passing, I got on the phone to my siblings, made some hotel reservations and headed north to Vancouver, WA. I arrived, and within a couple days all 4 of my brothers along with some of their kids and all of my children and grandchildren had made it there to let my dad know they loved him and say their good-byes. Each of us had time to spend with him one on one, as well as surround him with the craziness that is our family when all together in a small space. It was a bit overwhelming for him at times, but he loved it. When it got to be a bit much, he would just sit back and enjoy the chaos. With his hearing he couldn't really follow it all, but he told me it made him happy just to see us all together.

It was a fun time, with dad sharing stories and also a healing time for my dad, emotionally, he was able to release some spiritual baggage that had been building up for years... forgiveness is an amazing thing. He did some rebounding that weekend though he was started on hospice, we knew the end was coming, but at least not that February weekend.

Over the next few weeks I made sure to call him between 3 & 7 times a week, we would talk of many things, and almost always the conversation would end with me saying I would call in the next day or 2 and he would finish by saying something like... "yep, I suppose I'll still be here." His humor coming through... he was tired but always liked it when I would call, he would also let me know if any of my brothers had called. 

About mid-March I let dad know I would be coming up and we would have a StarWars weekend, in our family we are all StarWars fans and I told him that we would make sure that he was all caught up, because if he was still around when the new one came out, I was going to come up and take him.  Well this was a goal for him I guess, since I drove up on a Saturday after work and then on Sunday, my youngest son and I spent the afternoon with dad watching movies. I will cherish that afternoon. I saw something that day that told me that dad would be leaving soon, so the next day when I was leaving town I wasn't surprised when I got the call that dad had less than 72 hours left. I knew it would be that day, and it was. Yes, I was sad, and I miss my dad, but I know he had lived a long life, and he told me that he had accepted Jesus as his Savior many years before-- so I was/am at peace with his passing.

The time between his passing and the memorial at the end of June presented me with many emotional/physical and fiscal challenges, however the Lord got me through all of them. Family was so important in the physical side, stepping up to help me move the last bits of my dad's stuff by the deadline that was set before me. -- I will be ever thankful to them, Jacob, Jake, Russ and Debbie, thank you so much!!

Moving forward, the summer was busy with work and a fast trip to the coast to connect with the family for a couple days of the annual camp out, always fun!! This trip is an annual event with family coming in from all around the country, a time to hang out, and have fun, just playing... all ages, together.

I wasn't there for the whole time but it was a lot of fun to see the kids working together building a dam on the beach. Family games like Pctionary, and a variety of others... of course there were many marshmallows to be roasted and snacks to be consumed, it was a great time!

The coast was a great break from the smoke that had consumed the valley during the summer. I just wish the ocean were a bit closer, though 2 hours isn't bad.

During the summer I traded in my little red car and got a car that is a bit bigger, I like it! 

As the summer progressed, I was busy prepping for the trip that I was going to be going on in the fall. October was to bring a trip with my Sister-in-law, Teresa.  We planned parts of our adventure, knowing some things that we really wanted to do, planning much, but not all things-- you have to leave some flex room in life, lol! This meant some coffee and meal dates to plan our adventures.

...We were headed to Australia and New Zealand. So much excitement, and after over a year in the planning, we took off for our adventure on Oct 24, 2018, landing on the other side of the world at about 7:30 a.m. on Oct 26. 

Flying to Australia and then cruising to New Zealand was an adventure!! It was so amazing explore Sydney and to see in person things I had only seen on TV or in movies... we only had a couple days in Sydney and it made me want to go back some day. After a couple days we got on the cruise ship and headed for New Zealand, and during the trip we were blessed to explore small parts of New Zealand, and again be left for a craving for more of the country. -- More about the full trip will be left for another blog, when I get through the more than 1200 pictures, lol.

Coming home from the trip meant returning to my job and life, and that's okay too, I had many of my regulars at the restaurant that were excited for me and wanted to hear how the trip went. I got to share the joy of my adventure with them.

However, arriving home meant finding out that I had another change coming in my life, the job that I had come to love over the last 4 years was going away. The final days of that job I found myself in tears more than once. It's not often you work a job that you truly love, a job you look forward to going to each day.

I found myself having to look for work again, I have found a job, though not likely to be the one I will be in for the long term. And I am once again in a more obvious faith walk moment, much like I was in when Glenn passed. Life is always a faith walk, but when I (or anyone for that matter) find myself in a position to have to trust God in a level that others can see, we are in a, "rubber meets the road," moment. Do we believe what we say or is it just words.

In my life, I want to live a life of faith, and that means being ready to let go, and let God. It means that I need to be willing to trust the Lord each day for provision in all things. It means being thankful in all things, accepting that He is in charge. It doesn't mean I don't have any moments of fear, or sadness, because I most certainly do. But ultimately it means that I have decided to trust my life into the Lord's hands. 

So in looking forward to 2019, I am curious as to what lies ahead in my life, but I have decided that I will continue to trust in the Lord, I know that if I want to grow closer to Him, then trials like this will inevitably be a part of my life, and I am okay with that.

May the Lord bless you with an amazing 2019!!