Searching for the Perfect Tree

It's that time of year, the time when we set out to find the 'Perfect Tree.

For some that means a trip to the woods, always fun and quite the adventure, memories of doing this with my own family over the years, sometime with snow, and sometimes without... they always make me smile.

  Or maybe it's heading to a department store to find the right size, color of lights, price and style of artificial tree. (When we bought an artificial tree there was a debate... colored or white lights, lol.)

Whether you choose a natural tree or an artificial tree, you want it special, because... well let's face it, the tree, and all that goes with it, on it and around it, is a huge part of this season.

Sometimes it's fun to decorate a tree in the yard too... I know I love to see the lights on people's trees, and house's, during this time of year, they always bring a smile to my face. As a matter of fact, they bring the memory of a 2 year old child in a car seat constantly, and delightedly saying, "Oh, Pretty!!!!" as we went light looking many years ago.

But I was struck recently with a thought of a different tree... A 'tree' that was the most perfect tree. It was not perfect because of it's shape, size or decoration, it was/is perfect because of what it represents, the completed work of the greatest Christmas gift ever given.

The Gift of course, is the reason we celebrate this season, the gift was a tiny child born on dark night so many years ago. A child that was born for one reason. He would grow up to be Savior of the world for all who choose to call on Him. JESUS. And the tree I speak of, the cross that bore His body through the crucifixion, the ultimate sacrifice, His life for ours.

From my heart to yours this season: Merry CHRISTmas!!! Remember the Reason for the Season!

Fantastic Fall

I love fall!!

Everyone has their favorite season... for most it's probably spring or summer... for some it's winter, but as for me- I love the fall!

I enjoy the other seasons (for the most part) but I feel rejuvenated in the fall. Weird, I know. I just can't help myself, as the Lord begins to wave His paintbrush over the landscape my heart leaps. There is nothing that can match those colors, seriously!

God made each season unique, and to me the fall is the culmination of things.

Winter is the time of rest in many ways, most of the plants go dormant, the weather does it's best to keep us indoors. The daylight is less, we tend to be more willing to take time to be quiet... yes, like nature we know it's a season of rest.

Spring is a season of rejuvenation, new life is blossoming around us, it is a time to plant. Whether that is in the natural and we are preparing to plant our garden, or seeking the Lord to plant new dreams in our heart.

Summer comes with the warmth of the sun and longer hours of daylight, and this gives us time to play and allows the plants to grow.

Then comes fall and with it the wonder of the harvest... something that began months before with the turning of soil and planting of the seeds is now bursting for with produce.

I am reminded in this season that we also go through seasons, though they may not always align with the season of nature we are in at the time.

In my personal life I have seen seasons of winter, with it's darkness and sense of loss, I have gone through seasons of spring with new life and optimism... prayers of new dreams for my life.

Then comes a summer season... a time to rejoice in the beauty around us, maybe a trip to the coast to watch the ocean and ponder the power of the Lord. It is a time to allow the dreams that the Lord has put in our hearts to grow. To trust that, if He gave us the dream, He will bring it to pass.

But the best time of all, the one that is so exciting to come into, a fall season!! Sometimes we know when these are coming- maybe it's the completion of a project we have been working on. But sometimes, and these are the best, are those times of dream harvest... That moment that the Lord brings into being those dreams He gave us in that "spring" however long ago it was that we got the dream.

So back to the physical fall outside, yes, I love the colors, the sounds and smell of this time of year, what I really love is that I see it as the Lord's reminder that He will bring my life into it's season of harvest in His timing. And His timing is always best!

Easter Blessings

The Joy of Easter and Family!

Easter is probably my favorite holiday, don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the 4th of July. But Easter is, to me, the best of them all. It is the celebration of the risen Lord, Jesus the Christ.

It was on what we call, Good Friday, that Jesus was Crucified, and put to death in one of the most painful ways possible. But on the 3rd day, the day we celebrate with Easter, Jesus rose from the dead!! He conquered death and through that victory His shed blood on the cross made available to us, the gift of eternal life!! And that is why it is my favorite! (For more on the gift of Salvation, take the link to "Meet My Best Friend.")

Ah brothers!

For my family, Easter is also a time to get together and have fun! In our family, since the weather was co-operating this year that meant a BBQ and yes, egg hunting! Our family, extended family means aunts and uncles and cousins... a group that loves getting together and hanging out!!  My children and I first had a stop at my daughter's house and a bit of time with just us before going over to join the rest of the family in Grants Pass.

I had a heck of a time getting a photo of my kids, for some reason I managed to continuously get pictures of them with someone closing their eyes... that's the reason for the exaggerated eyes photo. LOL, I really was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes at one point.

My daughter taking a sibling selfie.

My four blessings.

This year, at the full family BBQ  we were blessed to have 4 generations represented, my kids, my sister-in-law's kids and all their kids as well as my in-laws. The youngest generation refers to the generation above them as Aunts and Uncles, they decided to do this since my kids and their cousins are almost as close as siblings. And that is another blessing, it is a relationship that has come about by many holidays spent together.

This year was especially dear to my heart... it was the first time in over a year that all 4 of my kids and their families were all here with me at the same time. One of my sons is in the Air Force and the other moved out of state a year ago. So this was a joyous occasion indeed... and one I took advantage of, I made sure to get a picture of all of us, it is the first, full family photo since the February before my husband passed, that was 6 years ago in 2013. 

It is so very important to enjoy time with the ones you love, in the grand scheme of things, life is short. So make the most of it!! Gather together, play games, talk, laugh, have fun, and make memories!!

Time to hunt!!

Seek and Gather!

The parents hid the eggs and then the kids were set loose to find them! The littlest of the girls got a little bit of help but for the most part, none was required, they knew their mission! Nothing quite like the joy on a child's face and the sheer excitement of everything.


My hope and prayer for all of you is that you may enjoy your family as I enjoy mine and that you create memories to last you all for years to come!!

Full Steam Ahead

My last blog gave a brief overview of last year, highs and lows.  From the loss of my dad, which was both a good and sad thing at the same time, followed by my trip to Australia & New Zealand, and ending with the loss of my job. Through all of it, I have to look back and say... Full Steam Ahead.

As each of us looks at our life, we often view it like a card game, we all have a different hand dealt-- it is up to us how we play it out. We can choose to dwell on the low cards or get so focused on the high ones that we forget that all will have to be played. What we need to do is to look at the full hand, and remember that this hand will play out and a new one dealt. Well it's January and time for a new deal, what it is, I haven't a clue, lol. But what I do know, is that I will not face it alone. I will play it through with the Lord right at my side.

I wish I could say that I never have doubts when I look forward, but that would be a lie. I am human, I deal with all the same emotions of fear, trepidation and dare I say depression that anyone else does, and sometimes I even get overwhelmed by them. However, it is at those points that I take a deep breath and adjust my focus, and remind myself that I am not in charge, I do have control over my actions, but not of those around me-- I choose at that point to trust the Lord. I need to remember to press in at those moments and listen... listen to the Lord and what He is telling me.

If I remember to listen, then I will remember that I have a great partner in the card game of life, His plays trump all. He is the author of all things and His word promises me that I will ultimately win, Salvation gives me that.

In the meantime, His word also lets me know that there will be good times and rough times to come in my future, but that is okay, He WILL be with me through it all. Knowing that, I know that I can look to my future with joy, so as I said earlier-- 2019 I will enter it like a ship on the ocean, going Full Steam Ahead.

Happy 2019!!

Dreams, Good-bye's and 2019 Ahead

Proverbs 3 moments -

Prov 3:5-6 ​​Trust in the LORD with all your heart, ​​And lean not on your own understanding; ​​In all your ways acknowledge Him, ​​And He shall direct your paths.

Christmas is over, and the family has gone home, the paper is waiting to go into the trash can when it becomes empty again, my heart is full and I am blessed!!

What a year 2018 has been!! It has been a year of highs and lows and again bringing changes ahead. 

The year ahead was to bring a variety of things, the one I knew was coming was a trip I had dreamed about since I was a child. I also knew it was likely that at some point I would say my last good-bye to my dad... other than that, I had little thoughts on what the year would bring.

My dad was ready to go, he had made peace with the Lord, and since my stepmom Carol had passed in April of 2017 he had told me then that he was ready to go anytime the Lord saw fit. He promised me at that time that he wouldn't do anything to shorten his time here, but he wouldn't do anything to extend it either.

In February, I got a call- it looked like my 92 year old dad was passing, I got on the phone to my siblings, made some hotel reservations and headed north to Vancouver, WA. I arrived, and within a couple days all 4 of my brothers along with some of their kids and all of my children and grandchildren had made it there to let my dad know they loved him and say their good-byes. Each of us had time to spend with him one on one, as well as surround him with the craziness that is our family when all together in a small space. It was a bit overwhelming for him at times, but he loved it. When it got to be a bit much, he would just sit back and enjoy the chaos. With his hearing he couldn't really follow it all, but he told me it made him happy just to see us all together.

It was a fun time, with dad sharing stories and also a healing time for my dad, emotionally, he was able to release some spiritual baggage that had been building up for years... forgiveness is an amazing thing. He did some rebounding that weekend though he was started on hospice, we knew the end was coming, but at least not that February weekend.

Over the next few weeks I made sure to call him between 3 & 7 times a week, we would talk of many things, and almost always the conversation would end with me saying I would call in the next day or 2 and he would finish by saying something like... "yep, I suppose I'll still be here." His humor coming through... he was tired but always liked it when I would call, he would also let me know if any of my brothers had called. 

About mid-March I let dad know I would be coming up and we would have a StarWars weekend, in our family we are all StarWars fans and I told him that we would make sure that he was all caught up, because if he was still around when the new one came out, I was going to come up and take him.  Well this was a goal for him I guess, since I drove up on a Saturday after work and then on Sunday, my youngest son and I spent the afternoon with dad watching movies. I will cherish that afternoon. I saw something that day that told me that dad would be leaving soon, so the next day when I was leaving town I wasn't surprised when I got the call that dad had less than 72 hours left. I knew it would be that day, and it was. Yes, I was sad, and I miss my dad, but I know he had lived a long life, and he told me that he had accepted Jesus as his Savior many years before-- so I was/am at peace with his passing.

The time between his passing and the memorial at the end of June presented me with many emotional/physical and fiscal challenges, however the Lord got me through all of them. Family was so important in the physical side, stepping up to help me move the last bits of my dad's stuff by the deadline that was set before me. -- I will be ever thankful to them, Jacob, Jake, Russ and Debbie, thank you so much!!

Moving forward, the summer was busy with work and a fast trip to the coast to connect with the family for a couple days of the annual camp out, always fun!! This trip is an annual event with family coming in from all around the country, a time to hang out, and have fun, just playing... all ages, together.

I wasn't there for the whole time but it was a lot of fun to see the kids working together building a dam on the beach. Family games like Pctionary, and a variety of others... of course there were many marshmallows to be roasted and snacks to be consumed, it was a great time!

The coast was a great break from the smoke that had consumed the valley during the summer. I just wish the ocean were a bit closer, though 2 hours isn't bad.

During the summer I traded in my little red car and got a car that is a bit bigger, I like it! 

As the summer progressed, I was busy prepping for the trip that I was going to be going on in the fall. October was to bring a trip with my Sister-in-law, Teresa.  We planned parts of our adventure, knowing some things that we really wanted to do, planning much, but not all things-- you have to leave some flex room in life, lol! This meant some coffee and meal dates to plan our adventures.

...We were headed to Australia and New Zealand. So much excitement, and after over a year in the planning, we took off for our adventure on Oct 24, 2018, landing on the other side of the world at about 7:30 a.m. on Oct 26. 

Flying to Australia and then cruising to New Zealand was an adventure!! It was so amazing explore Sydney and to see in person things I had only seen on TV or in movies... we only had a couple days in Sydney and it made me want to go back some day. After a couple days we got on the cruise ship and headed for New Zealand, and during the trip we were blessed to explore small parts of New Zealand, and again be left for a craving for more of the country. -- More about the full trip will be left for another blog, when I get through the more than 1200 pictures, lol.

Coming home from the trip meant returning to my job and life, and that's okay too, I had many of my regulars at the restaurant that were excited for me and wanted to hear how the trip went. I got to share the joy of my adventure with them.

However, arriving home meant finding out that I had another change coming in my life, the job that I had come to love over the last 4 years was going away. The final days of that job I found myself in tears more than once. It's not often you work a job that you truly love, a job you look forward to going to each day.

I found myself having to look for work again, I have found a job, though not likely to be the one I will be in for the long term. And I am once again in a more obvious faith walk moment, much like I was in when Glenn passed. Life is always a faith walk, but when I (or anyone for that matter) find myself in a position to have to trust God in a level that others can see, we are in a, "rubber meets the road," moment. Do we believe what we say or is it just words.

In my life, I want to live a life of faith, and that means being ready to let go, and let God. It means that I need to be willing to trust the Lord each day for provision in all things. It means being thankful in all things, accepting that He is in charge. It doesn't mean I don't have any moments of fear, or sadness, because I most certainly do. But ultimately it means that I have decided to trust my life into the Lord's hands. 

So in looking forward to 2019, I am curious as to what lies ahead in my life, but I have decided that I will continue to trust in the Lord, I know that if I want to grow closer to Him, then trials like this will inevitably be a part of my life, and I am okay with that.

May the Lord bless you with an amazing 2019!!

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Thanksgiving is here once again, and though we learned in school that it was the celebration by the pilgrims celebrating the arrival, harvest and first year in the "New World" giving thanks to God.

I try to make sure that thanks to the Lord is on the top of my every day list, not just Thanksgiving day.

What it has become is a day of family, and you know, that's not bad. Family is something to be thankful for.

It is the number one traveled time of year, people looking 'homeward' where ever that may be. Gathering with parents, siblings, extended family-- the laughter of children of all ages!

I was blessed to be among about 23 family members today, covering 3 generations, a group that gets together for it's own brand of family fun and insanity each year, and I am thankful that they are mine.

Traditions like who gets the first deviled egg make it fun.


This is a time of year that stirs memories for many, I know it does for me... memories of many childhood Thanksgivings filled with my watching the parade on TV, then my Dad, Granddad and Uncle taking us kids to breakfast so 'the ladies' could get the food in the oven and most of the prep out of the way. And if the weather permitted, football in the yard with kids from the neighborhood until it was feast time.

Memories of my children small and us eating our cinnamon rolls in the morning, out of the oven they came and in went the turkey when we would host the family. Memories of so many happy times. Those memories are especially cherished now that some of those that were with us, are no longer here.

Take time this holiday season to make some memories, those around you will not always be there. Love them while you can, enjoy, appreciate and laugh with them!!

Keep the feeling of thankfulness in your heart all year, an attitude of gratitude makes life so much better.

Happy Thanksgiving and a very Merry Christmas season!!!

                                                    Mary

A.K.A Prairiemouse

Easter Memories, Thoughts and Revelations

Easter 1964

As I've been pondering Easter, I began to reflect on my thoughts and memories of Easter, going way back to my childhood and then coming forward to what it means to me now. 

Easter 65 or 66

Easter 1970

As a little girl I remember Easter; new dresses, hats, baskets, Easter eggs and candy hunting. However, in spite of all those, my primary memory is that of going to Easter Service at church. That memory is dominated by something we did each and every year of my childhood at that service. It was the "Flowering of the Cross" all the children at church would bring flowers from home to put into a cross made of a wood frame and chicken wire to hold the flowers. After we would put our flowers into the cross we were given a plant, pansies as I recall. I loved getting those plants! And some years we were lucky and would get two of them. I didn't know why we got them but I loved that we got them.

Easter 1970 - This was probably
my favorite Easter Dress ever.

As I got older, and I received Jesus as Lord of my life, Easter took on a whole new meaning. It was the celebration of Jesus rising from the dead. His death on the cross, and coming forth from the tomb that morning meant that I would have eternal life, all because of Him.

It then took on an even deeper meaning to me, as I understood what it meant to allow Jesus to become Lord of my life, not just Savior. The level of thanks for that Sacrifice and miraculous resurrection truly set the course of my life, and I am thankful for it. The emotional highs, and lows of my life have all been made better because of it.

Easter 2015

Over the years there were many Easter Egg Hunts, those I attended and those I did for my children and those I took them to attend, and now those I enjoy doing for my grandchildren. The joy of watching them hunt for eggs and delight as they find them brings a smile to my face and heart.

As I was reflecting on all these things, and pondering the service at church, it took me back to those days of placing the flowers on the cross at St. Marks.  I got it, it suddenly made sense. The flowers we placed were picked, and therefore, technically, they were dead, and on a cross. The plants we were given in their place were alive and growing, and they represented a new life, like the one that we receive when we make that trade of dying to our self and accept the gift that was given to us through the His death on the cross, and subsequent resurrection.

My heart for all those who read this is that they have a blessed Easter and remember that it isn't just about new dresses, hats, baskets, Easter eggs and candy hunting-- It's really about a man on a Cross taking upon Himself all the sins and sicknesses of mankind and offering us a new life.

Fun Memories and Personal 'Gilmore Girl Moments'

Thinking about the holiday today and my November thankfulness postings on Facebook took me back to a sweet and humorous memory. This particular memory dates to the holiday season of 1979, must have been about mid to late December, it was my senior year of high school and was after I had met Glenn. He was one of a couple guys I had dated that fall, but this event is what turned the tide to us moving toward a relationship.  

I was active in Rainbow Girls and all the activities of the local Rainbow, Jobies and DeMolay. One of the things that happened that year was a barn dance and box dinner. For those that don't know what that entails, well a Box Dinner means that you make a meal and wrap it up nice and pretty for it to be auctioned off... in theory no one knows which dinner was made by who. The dinners are auctioned and then whoever is the winning bidder eats with whoever made the dinner.

If I remember right mine had Fried Chicken, rolls, some sort of veggie and pumpkin pie... and yes of course my date knew which dinner was mine, and everyone knew their dates box so that they would bid on it, lol-- it was for a bunch of teens after all.  

Glenn's band, Easy Street was playing the dance, and he was there with his date, and I was there with a guy I'd been dating since the Halloween dance. It seems like there was a hayride before the auction and dance, it was a lot of fun, but the story really starts at the auction. The dinners were each auctioned, and the girls dates were of course the primary bidders with a little bidding by parents & chaperons that were present, to at least make it some sort of auction. For me it got a little interesting when my box came up for auction, my date bid, and then Glenn bid, and this went on for a bit... increments weren't huge. It was a bit awkward, though, since we hadn't really talked since the Halloween dance when I kind of got together with Eric, my date, so I was a bit surprised. So was Glenn's date, lol... oops.  

During the dance, I had snagged Glenn's favorite hat from him, yeh, I was bratty that way. Well after the dance a large group of us did what we always did after dances, we all went to pizza. I know, we hadn't eaten that long before, and as I said, we were teens and pizza was a post-dance ritual. I think Glenn must have still been at the barn tearing down equipment while we were at the pizza parlor. Since he didn't show up by the time I was leaving I returned his hat to his mom.

The next day the guys from the different DeMolay chapters in the area had all met in Medford for some football and after their game Glenn showed up at my house unexpectedly, looking for his hat- for some reason apparently his mom hadn't given it to him or told him that she had it. -- Thanks mom!

My silly teen flirtations and hat snatching were enough to encourage him that I was still a possibility for connecting with, so he started calling again, and he came over a few times over the next couple months, until he asked me to go steady on Valentines Day. From there the rest is history, and many happy memories to look back on.

I do enjoy looking back and seeing how the Lord orchestrated events to bring the two of us together. 

May your Holiday's be blessed with many events that will become happy and fun memories!

Blessings, 

Mary

End of Chapter 1

You may think that the title of this blog is odd, but then again if you know me, or have been following my blog, it may just make sense after all. The 1st chapter in my life without Glenn, year 1, is almost over.

Philipians 3:14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

As I have been out and about recently I am aware that everywhere you look, you see it and you know it... Spring has sprung. Spring is a reminder that life has cycles, after the winter comes new life. That is what I am looking forward to in me, spring... this last year has been a long winter and I am ready for the spring, and I am confident that it is coming. I don't know how long the season of budding before the bloom will be, but I am beginning to feel that I am entering a bud stage. The year of firsts is nearly over and I have survived, and grown.

The year has been a time of hurdles, closures and many firsts without Glenn. I am glad that this time is coming to it's own sort of end.

Hurdles-- that would be adjusting to a new chapter in life, balancing my business plus a full time job, my personal life including time to rest and recharge (never my strong suit), and try to find a way to get back to doing what I did before with in my involvement in church. I need to remember that this chapter is really more of a steeple chase than the quick short hurdles on a track. The hurdles vary in size and intensity, some are easily seen, some I knew were there and chose to go around them temporarily- I will be facing them shortly, and some are like the ones that hide behind a hedge on the steeple chase course. They come from no where but with God's help I have gotten through them and will continue to.

I can look back and feel both frustrated and yet okay at the same time, there are times when I got mad at myself for shutting down, letting my emotions get the best of me. I'm not one that likes to give into emotions, tears and the lack of control that they create-- but I am human and I lost it plenty of times. I want to be in control, to be on an even keel, and some people may be surprised by this; but I like to know the 'plan,' For obvious reasons, that hasn't been the case, so I have learned that I need to be ready to flex, to 'jump' or turn as the Lord leads.

Firsts -- firsts, lots of them... important days celebrated with out him, some holidays and some days that may have only had meaning to us. Some were harder than others, some were surprisingly good, as thoughts and memories added to the presence of family and thoughtfulness of friends counterbalanced the 'empty' factor. One person really went out of their way in a way that probably did the most to get me through what might have been the hardest time of year... and I am forever thankful to them, and I can only hope they read this to know just how much those 12 gifts meant- you see, they were anonymous.

In this last few weeks I have found myself way more emotional than I have been in months. The first year is almost to a close, a lot of the pain has resurfaced. I miss Glenn so much it hurts, physically at times, and and I know that this is normal and natural, but it still sucks!

On the upside, I have found that God is constantly reminding me that I am NOT alone in this, He is always present with me, and His arms are around me.

Closures-- closure can be a good thing, it's not always easy but it's healthy. There have been a variety of things that had to be 'buttoned up,' finished or 'what have you.'  Some were simple to do, yet hard on the heart... things like changing a car title, not a big deal- but a closure. Bank accounts, bills... you know, stuff. There was one big thing that was still looming until a couple weeks ago, our old house.

During the market crash, we, like so many got hit hard economically and fell behind and into foreclosure. Well for several years that house has been in a holding pattern with no auction date. During the fall of 2012 God opened the door for us to buy the manufactured home where I live now, it is affordable, in an area I like and feel safe in. His timing amazes me, we were able to move and know that no matter what, we (I) wouldn't be in a bad spot when the inevitable happened and the house would be auctioned. Well, ironic timing, that time has come and with it the final closures all at once, the auction of that house and the close of my first year without Glenn will occur the same week. Needless to say the last few weeks have been a bit crazy, but I am pressing through them, with God's never-ending grace firmly with me. It will get done, because it has to, but the good thing is... it will be finished, no more limbo land to drag my heart and emotions out. A big closure, and a much needed one, no matter how uncomfortable it's been.

Looking to chapter 2 - I'm the same me as I was before, but yet, I am not at all who I was. Last year was a time of shock, adjustment, often times just survival mode, and possibly semi-catatonic at times. I spent my share of time crying out to God, and sometimes just crying to God, and He brought me through the year. He has blessed me with an amazing family both in the natural and my church family... I couldn't have survived the last 2 years without their love and caring.

I don't know what lies ahead but I know that what is in my heart, and that is to keep pressing forward toward the things that the Lord sets before me. I want to be obedient to the things that He calls me to do. This 2nd chapter is really the start of my new life, you see, in so may ways I think last year was more of an epilogue to one book of my life and the prologue to the book I am now in. Only God truly knows what lies ahead, but I can honestly say that looking backward, I can look forward with confidence and trust knowing what it says in Jeremiah 29:11 really is true for me.

May the love of the Lord touch each of you as it has me.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

A Letter From My Heart to You...

At the end of each year, generally in a Christmas card, you will often find the "Holiday Letter." You know the one, it updates everyone on the events of the year. Well this is kind of like that, and yet a bit different... after all with Facebook so many of us are keeping up with those events already, what this is, is a letter from my heart.

As most of you know, 2013 was an eventful year in my family. 

January begun filled with prayerful optimism, Glenn's battle against cancer had been going well and Christmas with the family was a joy, and Glenn had played percussion in the Candlelight service. Our precious Cecilia turned 3, so amazing!  We were making plans for the year ahead, and the scripture in my heart was Ecclesiastes 3 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. And I still stand on that. By the end of that month, the doctors reports were changing and the prognosis was not good, that however never changed our faith, God is a big God, and our trust has always been, and mine still is, in Him!

Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart And lean not on your own understanding In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones.

Psalms 46:10-11 Be still, and know that I am God I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge.

February came and we continued to make plans, plans for a garden and plans to meet our grandson that was to arrive in May. Jeremy and Whitney came to visit and we were blessed with a wonderful opportunity to have all the family together and get some family pictures done... Again, I am thankful for the timing of the Lord.

In March the challenges increased, but so did our faith. We continued to plan and enjoy life together, though our sense of humor some may have viewed as a bit weird, but it allowed us to laugh and keep positive through the tough moments. Psa 18:32 It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect. We were keenly aware of what was going on in the physical, but our focus remained on the Lord during it all. My love and admiration for Glenn, as a husband, father and man of God continued to grow through every moment of the battle. His faith never wavered, he knew the God of his salvation. We followed the course that the Lord gave us and I continue trusting the Lord to guide my path still.

April brought us Easter, and the reminder of the resurrection power of the Lord Jesus, and the Salvation gift on the cross. It brought us time with family, and the girls Easter Egg Hunt, always fun to watch! Papa loved his grandbabies, even the one he had yet to see. Micah's dedication was in April and we were there, it brought joy to his heart to know that his grandchildren would be raised in the house of the Lord.

May was a month of tears, my heart broken at the loss of my best friend on earth, my lover, my husband, and at the same time tears of joy at the arrival of his namesake, Asher Glenn, who has his Papa's kind eyes. Though we didn't get the healing as we wanted it, the fact that we did get a miracle, became plain to my eyes, the doctors were talking weeks in March of 2012 but we were blessed with 14 months, and quite of few of them good ones! Glenn was able to teach, share and pray for others during that time, and this brought tears of happy memories. And now he is no longer in any pain, but doing what he loved most, worshiping in God's presence. We said 'good-bye' to him at the end of May, a hard time but a proud moment, my children are amazing and they they stepped up with so much strength. In addition to my children are my family and friends who stepped up and helped me through it.

The summer is somewhat of a blur, I began to move forward in a new chapter of life, beginning as I returned to the work-world as an employee, but have kept my business going, the Lord has given me provision to pay my bills each month and I am grateful for that. He is seeing me stretched in ways I am very uncomfortable with, but I trust He has a reason.

Fall arrived, over the months my heart is healing-- there are still some very raw parts but God's love is a balm of healing upon them. I think of the memories of last year and the good holiday season we had and the memories are happy and I will have them forever... that helps me through the low points.

As fall pushed into winter, and the holidays approached I began to reflect on things, and during the month of November I took the time to focus on the things I am thankful for, keeping a thankful heart is crucial to me... it keeps things in perspective, I really am blessed! From there I moved into sharing memories of holiday times, they add smiles to my spirit.

As I close, I would be amiss if I didn't mention one of the things that touched me most of all during this year of challenges- the amount of love shown to me by family, church family and friends from all over. Your prayers, words, thoughts, pictures, and deeds overwhelm me. You are God's hands whether you know it or not, you propped me up, picked me up and have helped me to move forward... And that is what I think of when I think of Christmas... Emanuel, Christ with us, those actions remind me of God's love for each of us, I was just in the position this year to see it, not necessarily more clearly, but in a new way from a different angle. Thank you all for this.

I am doing well, all things considered  though yes, I have moments, but the Strength I get from the Lord and the people he has placed in my life continue to help me walk forward. I know He has plans for me and I have faith that He will reveal them when the time is right. So I look to 2014 with optimism and joy in my heart anxious for the year ahead.

My prayers and best wishes for each of you to have an I hope you have had a wonderful Christmas and you will have amazing and blessed 2014!!

Mary

Some Very Special Holiday Memories

Remember each and every day you have the opportunity to 'Make a Memory.'  Not only the over the top days, sometimes they are the ordinary things and yes, there are are those days you think you'd rather forget- in the long term you may smile at those crazy ones. I can just say that, know this, in the long run, it's the memory of all these things that you will have come to mind, and they can encourage you on darker days, just bringing a smile across your lips can change your day. Enjoy life, and each day take advantage of the moments that you can use to make memories for you and your family. 

Since the day after Thanksgiving I have been sharing some memories of the holiday season. There is something so magical about those days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, whether you are a child or an adult you know it's true.

Some memories are from my childhood and youth and others since I was married, I am going to share a couple here that are different from what I've put on Facebook, they have a special place among all my memories for one reason or another as you will see. 

Christmas mornings with our kids, it's so hard to pinpoint one, you see each one has moments that are engraved on my heart. Generally I was pretty tired when they started... due to the fact that I was the one who wrapped the gifts and it usually took place after the kids were asleep on Christmas Eve. 

We would start the mornings with cinnamon rolls, the store bought, orange kind, they were baked before the turkey went in. After the rapid elimination of them the kids were allowed their stockings, for gifts, they had to wait until Glenn was ready... I think he stalled at times just to drive them nuts!

Once they were old enough to read names on packages I had to get creative with identifying the gifts so that they didn't guess everything ahead... Amber was a master guesser! This was done in a variety of ways, different every year; bow color, paper, reindeer names, numbers- that was the hardest for them, because I simply wrote a list with the numbers and who the gift was for, in no real order. The game then became, 'What system is mom using this year?'

The delight on the kids faces always warmed my heart, even in the toughest of years, they were always grateful for what they got, and we had some very lean years as well as some very abundant ones. I think those hard ones were harder on me than the kids... very hard, but God has worked on that part of me too.

Grandad & Santa Rosa- The year after my mom passed away,  we were in Santa Rosa and couldn't afford to come to Oregon and visit family, it was a very lean year. But God found a way to make it a very memorable Christmas for us. My brother had arranged for my dad to fly down and be with us for Christmas. The kids were so excited that he was coming, and some neighbors of ours had invited us to join them for Christmas, and blessed the kids with some gifts too. It was a wonderful time and very special to my heart.

Something the kids did that year still makes me smile, they have always been creative, and that year they took it upon themselves to put things under the tree, they regifted toys to each other and made necklaces of beads and buttons, though I don't have them, I can still see them in my mind's eye.

My Coat - When I was in high school there was one year that all I really wanted was a specific coat, it was a long coat, knee length like everyone was wearing that year. I had my heart set on it and was so sure I was going to get it, we unwrapped all the presents and it wasn't there, I don't remember what all I got, and I didn't say anything about it, but about a half an hour after the gift mess was all cleaned up, my mom asked if I was okay... I guess my face said what my mouth didn't. I said yes, she pressed me, I fessed up that I had been hoping for the coat  we had looked at. Well, the look that came over her face--- "Uh Oh" could only kind of describe it, she made a dash for her closet and brought out a package, that hadn't made it under the tree. (Easy to happen with 5 kids.) And it was my coat! She was so sorry for forgetting it, but I was so elated for it's arrival that it being late, really didn't matter.

Following Nana's gift advice- I think I was about 8 or so, and my grandmother, "Nana," had taken me Christmas shopping, I was absolutely stumped on what to get one of my brothers, Brent must have been about 13 and in Jr High, and those big kids were hard to shop for. So Nana offered a suggestion that she thought Brent would appreciate because he was always so aware of his appearance. She had me get him some Head and Shoulder's shampoo.... LOL, it seemed like good advice at the time, and the people that used it in the commercials were all so amazing and popular... yeah Gift FAIL!  I never followed her gift advice again.

Oh Holy Night- The final one that I will mention is so precious to me- it is about the first Christmas after Glenn got saved, and our hearts were turning toward the Lordship of Christ in our lives, we weren't fully there yet but the shift had begun. It was before we were married, we had been at his parents for Christmas eve and we decided to go over to St. Anne's for the Christmas Eve Mass. This is the church that he had served in as an (ornery) alter boy when he was in grade school. We went and as the traditional carols were sung, Glenn did something that turned a few heads, he put up his hands in worship during those carols (not normally done there at that time, drew a couple looks, oh well, lol). They were no longer just 'songs,' the meaning of them had taken up new significance. Even though it was some months late,r that we really began to make the changes in our lives that we would carry into our adulthood and 99% of our married life, it was evident to both of us that something had changed in us that night.

Take some time in this crazy season to make a memory, freeze a moment of time in your mind, as I know from experience, they can, and will help you to smile and get through the toughest of moments that may come. Above all, remember the reason for the season is the celebration of the arrival of the Greatest Gift the world will ever know- the gift that brought us everlasting life, it arrived in the form of a small baby, Jesus.

May you have a blessed and joyous Christmas Season, don't let it overwhelm you, let it warm you.

Blessings!

Mary