Monday, September 30, 2013

Coulda, Shoulda, Regrets-- No Regrets

Prov 3:5-6 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

This week was a good one, I had 2 days that I can say were truly 'good ' days. No emotional jags, and honestly, it was nice.

It has been a week that has had me reflecting a lot. I even was running the negative mental game of; coulda, shoulda, 'if only,' 'but,' 'we were gonna,' 'why didn't we do...' You get the picture. And as I was pondering these things I began to feel the Lord speak to my spirit, what good is to be gained from these thoughts? 

Some of the thoughts are those, "what if we'd done things differently?" Some are fixating on the unfinished dreams that we had together. Some are really just meandering, unproductive thoughts, but really the truth of the matter is, all they do is bring a world of useless and pointless regrets, that won't change a thing in my life right now. 

All of this brought me back to the simple question- Do I trust God? I wrote a whole blog on this, months ago.

If I do trust the Lord, and I do, then I need to let go of those thoughts and regrets-- they are only clogging up my brain for what is coming. It dawned on me that it is like a bookshelf, when everything is cattywhompus, and there is a bunch of stuff you really don't need there, then you have no room for the good things, new things. 

God is helping me realize that if I want new dreams and to see the vision He has for my future then I need to get my "bookcase" organized. Keeping those good things; the cherished memories of us, and mental snapshots of the past, as well as the things that were 'mine' from the past, meaning not a part of the "we" of things we did, but some of the things that I did. And as I keep those, I can clear away the regrets, and release the things that I perceive as unfinished... The Lord knew long ago the plan for our lives, and He is bringing me into this new story of my life, and for it to unfold I must make room. I am, it's not instant, but it is happening, a day at a time.

I know that there is a lot more clearing to go, but this week gave me a glimpse that it will get done, I will get there, and yes the new story will unfold.  In spite of the fact that I'd love to think that this process would be done in an instant, I know that's not realistic, lol, and those that know me best know that I am a realist. But that's okay too, God is the one who made me with a strong practical side, He knew that I would need it in getting through the storms of the last year and a half.

I can honestly say that right now, I have fewer regrets than I did a week ago, and I know that a week from now, I will be better still. How long the process? I don't know, but I do know that I am ready to start, 'clearing the bookshelf.' 

How about you? How does your 'bookshelf' look, is it clear and ready for the future? Or are there some regrets cluttering it up?

I will close tonight with one simple statement.... LET GO AND LET GOD!!


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