Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A Fresh Awareness

Seasons come and seasons go, days, weeks, months... they blend together, and the years go bye. Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall. Also the seasons of life - infancy, childhood, youth, young adult, middle age... and on.

What is on my mind today is, in a way, a combination of the two types of seasons- nature and life.

I am in a season that I wish I weren't, widowhood, but that being what it is, it has given me the opportunity to reflect upon the seasons of nature in a fresh awareness.

How many of us have gone through the years and, yes we notice the flowers of spring, the foliage of and sun of summer, the color of fall, and the brisk, starkness of winter (though with a beauty of it's own). We all are aware of it, but do we really see it? The intricacy of the seasons?

Over the last 20 months, with the turns my life has taken, I have had the opportunity to began to see these things in a new way. Not just the glance of the day, but with eyes that have slowed down to really see them.

During the 14 month of the cancer battle, my life slowed down to a pace that I hadn't had in many years, life was lived and appreciated in a new way, truly in the moment by moment. Carpe Diem... most of us think of that phrase as "Seize the day." The reality of it is that it's meaning is; 'enjoy the day, pluck the day when it is ripe.' Well that is what Glenn and I began to do during that time, and I am thankful for that, I have some wonderful memories from that horrible time- God is amazing!

After Glenn passed, my life had to make a shift from the slower pace we had been living, I had to hit the ground running and work began to consume my time. The good thing, because my job involves driving, I am able to still take advantage of the lesson of slowing down, I now observe the world around me more.

It's amazing what you see when you are looking!! I've always noticed the seasons in a way that was fairly observant because it's what I love to photograph, but this year I saw it at a new level.

When you go by a tree only once or twice a day or week, you don't see it bloom into the fullness of summer foliage; you just notice, wow the tree is giving some great shade! You see a flower bed go from nothing, to all of a sudden, wow- color! In the fall the trees are green one day and colorful the next time and then empty the time after that.

What I saw this year from my car was an amazing progression of the seasons. I started in June, and the trees were coming into their fullness, I watched them make that progress from thin leaves to the fullness of the season and then something extraordinary this fall, I literally watched the trees change color. When I make deliveries, there are some trees that I pass 10-30 times a day, well, one Saturday I was working a 10 hour shift and about 4 hours in I began to notice something the color change of the trees during that time was noticeable to my eyes... it was like watching the mercury in a thermometer go up. At first I was skeptical of what I was seeing, so I started making mental notes as to the color level and by the end of the day a significant change had occurred. So amazing!!! I wish I had had my camera that day, it would have been cool to have a time lapse series of pictures.

How incredible to watch the hand of the Lord, as right in front of my very eyes, He 'painted' on the colorful canvas of His creation that day, and showed me those brushstrokes. It changed something in me, I now have a new sense of awareness of the world around me. I now watch for the opportunity to see the Master's touch on the things around me, I want to see each and every brushstroke, not just see periodic paintings.

As I have pondered these things, I am suddenly hit by the realization that I must relax and understand that He is 'painting' me into a new season right now, my life is a changing canvas, it feels like a winter season at the moment but I know that the Master is painting me into a spring one... I have no idea how long it will take to get to that next period picture, but I know it will come, and I will trust each brushstroke that He makes upon my life.


No comments:

Post a Comment