Thursday, June 20, 2013

Strength for the Journey

Psa 71:14-16 But I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness, And Your salvation all the day, For I do not know their limits. I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD; I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.

Life goes on... a phrase I know that I have heard thosands of times over the course of my life... and you know, it does. Each day is a new experience, I know, that's a no-brainer, but until March of last year I didn't really think of it like that. Yes, I understood that we are blessed each morning with a fresh start to launch from; our attitudes, the way we make decisions, all of that. However until then, there was a stability of sorts... a baseline of the familiar. Glenn was here, we were doing life together, then came the change.

When we were given the news, we understood several things; 
  • First, why Glenn hadn't been feeling and functioning like normal. 
  • Second; we fully understood the gravity of the situation. Maybe not the ins and outs of what was going to be our day to day but we knew the doctors outlook.
  • Third and most important, we knew that there was no way we would be able to walk the road that was being laid out before us without the Strength of the Lord.
It was a challenging time during the battle, we had schedules and side effects to deal with. We had the battle with our thoughts, even during the good months of the battle we would both get attacked with thoughts that were quickly evicted- that is what you have to do. Our life had a new baseline and we both learned to appreciate each day more, and let the Strength of the Lord carry us.

And since Glenn went to be with the Lord, I am now faced with a new everyday, and a new level of dependency on God... and a more willing heart to let Him take the reigns. Glenn was the spiritual head of the house, Biblically, that is the way it is to be. The last year during his weaker periods I had to step up a lot, but he was still my covering... now, I am the head in the house, not a place I ever thought I would be, but it is my reality.

Fortunately, I know I have a God who loves me and is my covering. I also have Godly men and women around me that I can go to for counsel. I have to press in to the Lord more, hear clearer and trust that He will speak and guide me... I know He will, He said in Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

I know that even though I am overcome with sadness at times, and I miss Glenn so much that it physically hurts and brings me to tears, God will get me through. The pain will soften over time, and the tears will lessen, how long, I don't know, but I do know it will, because it is true- life goes on.

When we are hit with major events that change our lives radically then we each have to decide how we are going to go forward with life, how we are going to face it. Are we going to choose to grow stagnate in all things, frozen from moving forward? Or are we going to take a deep breath and step by step, press forward.

My choice is the latter, I will move forward, I know it is what the Lord wants me to do, because my journey isn't over just because Glenn is no longer here. God still has work for me, and He will paint my future with His amazing paintbrush if I will remain softened to His guiding, and lean on His Strength...

Yes, He will give me strength for the journey.

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