By Faith We Understand
1 Now faith is the substance
of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.2 For by it the
elders obtained a good testimony.3 By faith we understand
that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are
seen were not made of things which are visible.
The Heavenly Hope
13 These all died in faith,
not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of
them, embraced them and
confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For
those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. 15 And
truly if they had called to mind that country from
which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return.16 But
now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their
God, for He has prepared a city for them.
Heb 12:1-2 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us,and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
I know that Glenn ran a good race, he pressed, and overcame... yes we were hoping for a different end to this particular leg of the race, but I know that he fought the good fight and is now rejoicing in heaven. It is through the Faith that I have, my family has, that we get through this time. I know that God has a "bubble" of sorts around me right now... it is His way of helping me get through this time. I am thankful for the peace and strength of the Lord. I am not strong. God is. He sustains me.
The last 5 days have been a bit of a blur, and yet not... I am overwhelmed in a good way with the love of all those around me, around our family, that are pouring into us, thank you.
When you are standing in a battle like this, you are looking at the end that you want, that is the one that you keep focused on and mentally prepare for... when the ending that you are desiring doesn't occur, then you continue to do what you have done all along... You Press, You Pray, You Trust, You Believe - and now, you move forward into the chapter that is being written. Trust... yes trust, trust that the Lord knows the end from the beginning. Trust that even though your heart aches and you don't know what lies ahead, you trust that He will give you new dreams of your future... I know the future isn't the one that I dreamed about with Glenn for so many years, but I KNOW that God still has one for me, and it's a good one! His word tells me that in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. And it is on that promise I stand.
The promise that life continues arrived barely 48 hours after Glenn was called home, it arrived in the tiny form of our first grandson... Asher Glenn Smith - our Joyful Blessing! God knew what we would need and when we would need it, He gave the kids the name and He set it that Asher would arrive 3 weeks early... all set in place before we knew what was to come... He is Faithful!
Is this new chapter all fluff and flowers... no. It can't be, I am human, I miss the man that I have spent over 31 years of my life with. I will have ups and downs for quite a while, I know this, but I also know that the Lord will never leave me or forsake me. He WILL get me through, and with that I can have peace. When I am quiet, it may be a moment of grief or reflection; or it may just be a moment of peace... either way I am in His hand, and it is there where I will stay.
I will take a moment, I will take a deep breath, I will press forward, and I will re-engage into serving Him just as strongly as before, that is what I know I need to do, and I know that it is also what Glenn would expect me to do. Do I know exactly what that really looks like at this moment- no, how can I? But I don't have to; God does. The Lord is my Strength and in Him I WILL trust.