Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Letting go and letting God, it's a phrase that Christians speak and try to practice in their lives. It's not always as simple as it seems, sometimes we think we are letting go, yet we find out as we press in to the Lord, there are areas that we have held on to. In this particular battle it is critical that Glenn and I release it fully to the Lord, and keep it that way.
Keeping it that way... there is the challenge, not letting the moments of fear that creep in take up residence. It means as soon as we see it, boot it, standing on the Name of the Lord, fully trusting in the Word of the Lord. The first few weeks of the battle was a series of this cycle, sometimes multiple times a day. Again I am so thankful for the prayers of people around me. Through God's grace, time has brought stability to the emotions... most days. But diligence to being in the Word, walking by faith and trusting that the word of God is true has been the stabilizing factor.
I am thankful for that as I look back to March. The month was a whirlwind, it was the first week or so, after we had gone to the doctor to have Glenn looked at for a possible gallbladder issue. The doctor sent him in for an ultrasound and within and hour of the results being given to us, he was going in for a CT, they had found a mass on the head of the pancreas and it appeared to have spread to the liver and it looked like lesions on the lymph nodes close to them. March 8th was difficult to say the least... we had to let our family know that we were looking at a possible cancer battle. (We took the advice given to Glenn's dad when they found bladder cancer- don't hide it from the ones you care about.) Though it was hard and painful, it is a decision I am glad we made. It was also during this time that we also knew that for us, by the Lord's direction, was to be a battle fought very much in the open... Biopsy is set for March 12.
During all of this a dear friend posted the following on Facebook: "Replace the little fear-filled thoughts and conversations in your everyday life with short, simple prayers." Joyce Meyer and "When God gives us an impossible task---it becomes possible." (Our Daily Bread) This and the supportive words from many friends helped strengthen me(us) for what was to come. (Though we know that this didn't come from the Lord, He doesn't give His children sickness.)
I love listening to Praise and Worship music... can't tell you how many hours of worship I listened to in March, but it was a lot. It is in HIM we live and move and have our being!! And when I am listening to this music, I am reminded of this, and strengthened by this.
March 14th, the day after our daughter's birthday, we found out the news, yes we were in a cancer battle and from the natural (the doctor's perspective) it doesn't look good, however in spite of this, our trust is in the Lord!! It continues to remain that way...
......... My hope is that as I write this, others may get a different view, a view of Trusting God in spite of the tornado of life that may be whirling all around you. We are still in the battle, things are good at this time, but as you follow my journey both reflecting back, and in the future to come- you will see that it is all and only through Christ that we do what we do.