2 Tim 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.Getting a firm grasp on the Word of the Lord is crucial for clarity in a storm- remember the anchor is the Lord.
As I said, last time, June 8th was a very dark day. After the doctor told us that Glenn wouldn't be having Chemo that day because that treatment was no longer effective, and that we would be coming back on Monday to start the new regime of treatment, we headed home. It was a quiet ride and a very long and quiet day. Glenn was quiet, and it wasn't the 'normal' quiet that had been happening, it was more of a shock and awe quiet... he was overwhelmed and needed to process. Watching this was sooo hard! I too felt overwhelmed but needed to stay calm and focused. Then came the scripture above. I put it on a poster, and put it up over the fireplace.
Over the next few days, we began to get the fog of the news cleared and refocus on the promise of healing. Glenn started the new chemo and I began to really see the amount of food Glenn was eating... or rather wasn't eating. His food intake had reduced to less than 1000 calories a day. Before the chemo treatment shift, they had tried to add an oral chemo drug, it was an unmitigated disaster in my opinion. Yes by some reactions it looked like it was going to help, however during the week he took it, he was so sick he couldn't eat and dropped another 10 pounds. It was about this time that he hit his low of 154 pounds... just over 70 pounds gone since January. I didn't remember when I first began praying about his eating, but I know that about the 14th I included in my journal a written note for the Lord to increase Glenn's appetite.
In addition to listening to the Bible each day we also had been going through some devotionals, one by Joyce Meyer- Battlefield of the Mind. Another one we listened to was 31 Days of Healing and Recovery. (Both are on the youversion.com website.) The week of the 25th we also began listening to a series by Keith Moore on healing, the primary focus- Why healing is for everyone! At this point we began to turn the corner.
During this time another scripture was added to the wall above the fireplace, directly in front of Glenn's chair- Psalm 118:17 I shall not die, but live, And declare the works of the LORD. It was while we were listening to the scripture that this verse literally snapped Glenn out of his chemo haze that day; He looked at me and said write that one down and put it on a poster... so I did!
The first week of July the family and extended family were going camping at Valley of the Rogue Park, we were hoping to go up during the day if we could, but they came up with a better idea for us. Glenn's dad talked to the owners of Siskiyou RV (and Mock's Ford), for whom he has worked for well over 50 years, and they allowed Glenn and I to use a 5th Wheel to camp with the family... What a blessing!!
The time we spent at the campground was just what we needed, the RV had a recliner and a comfortable bed which we needed for Glenn. The change of scenery and time together alone as we needed, or with the family when we chose was a huge part of of continuing the turn. During our time in the RV we spent time in the Word, in prayer and just talking. The Lord used this time to show us things and allow us some very deep and intense discussions, all beneficial to gaining the focus and allow us to start recapturing the ground that the enemy had stolen. One of those discussions was about the eating, before we had gone camping, I had gone online to the message boards on some cancer support sites, to try to understand how I could help him with the eating thing. What I found both upset and angered me, so much of what I read seemed to be people giving up, or that was how I read it. Thing's like "the reduced appetite is a natural part of the ending process." My thought, pardon my non-French here... HELL NO!! I was not going to allow him to starve himself to death. That is what I told him too, I really feel that so many of the people are willing to accept the death sentence when the eating declines... honestly at one point Glenn looked at me and said that he understood why so many people give up, but that we were trusting in the Promise of God.
One major thing that we began doing from the natural standpoint- we began tracking Glenn's calorie intake, that's when we realized just how little he had been eating. Glenn realized that he had dropped part of the three-fold chord that the Lord had shown us... the nutritional part, that's the part that really only Glenn can control, I can push him to eat but I couldn't do it for him. Our first goal was to get him to a minimum of 1500 calories. Not much to most people but for him, it was a hurdle, we were counting every cracker, any juice or Gatorade... any and everything he consumed. Praise God, this is what we needed, things began to shift.
We got him to 1500 calories pretty quick, about a week I think, the next goal... 2000, then 2500 and eventually 3000. Each hurdle was achieved, chemo weeks proved to be challenging speed bumps at first, but as time went on we began to pray through them. And with the upped calories, came improving strength and energy, and this helped with him take the chemo better, and his numbers began improving again... finally a positive cycle, steady improvement that was visible to all.
Our faith in the Lord was solid through all of this, but admittedly to really begin to see in the natural, what we were and are believing in the spiritual is a major boost! And what was really cool was when the staff at the oncology clinic started commenting. We serve an Awesome God and we know that more good is on the way!!