Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Walk By Faith Not By Sight

Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

When the whirlwind of life is blowing all around us, the biggest struggle of our life is often time the one that is going on in our head. 

I can't tell you how many times that my Faith was challenged by the head games brought on by the doctors report, the statistics, or just by what my eyes were seeing in the natural. At these times I would turn again to the word and worship... Whose report do we believe? We shall believe the report of the Lord!!

A part of moving in faith is moving forward in life in spite of what we see. We must always remember that fear is the opposite of faith and that fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. So when the mental attacks arise I fought back, reminding the devil that we were not accepting this, that through Christ the healing is there!

Some days were harder than others, you see Glenn and I have worked together in our own business for the last 3 years, spending almost every day together, talking, laughing, taking drives, and sharing dreams of what we would do in the future... but now there were days that talking was at a minimum, Glenn was weak. My husband had dropped 60 pounds and was looking like a shadow of his former self. A friend told me to make sure to get a mental picture in my head of him healthy and at weight. Also to post a photo of him that way... so I did, and I also put a scripture of healing on it... Now there were 2 scriptures on the walls, Mark 10:27 and Isa 53:5 'But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.', and one on the front door. On the poster on the front door the top says 'Faith Only Spoken Here' and on the bottom is 2 Cor 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.

And in April, as a part of the faith walk we figured that since we believed that the Lord will heal Glenn we pressed on into seeking the Lord's direction for the future and went through Presbytery service at church. It was awesome, especially when among the words spoken are these... "Limitless life." For a limitless life, it requires being alive. All the words were good, and as we listened to the ones from past years, as many as 25 they all lined up... God really is amazing!!

So in spite of the cancer and its effect on Glenn's body, we pressed forward doing what the Lord has called us to do. Tuesday evening prayer had become a part of our routine just before this all started and we are doing our best to make sure that it stays a part of it... sometimes it has been a bit more challenging, but our goal is to be diligent to be there. And as I mentioned in a previous blog we are trying to be the doers of the word as we have been called to be; praying when people need it and as the Lord leads, speaking his word.

During this time we were following the path of treatment as prescribed by the doctor; Chemo once a week for 3 weeks on and one week off, repeat as long as it works. We were very happy when Glenn's numbers begin to show improvement immediately, the cancer was retreating. The numbers they are looking at are levels of enzymes and chemicals in his blood that are considered cancer markers, these numbers help the doctors determine what the cancer is doing between CT scans.

All the numbers progressed down for about 7 weeks, and then some of the numbers started to cause the doctor to have pause, they seemed to be contrary- part were showing one thing and others were starting to shift the wrong way. So between the 2nd and 3rd treatments of the 3rd series (about 9 weeks from the first one) Glenn went in for another CT... The results were not good.

Here is a snippet from my journal for that day. --   June 8- I feel as if a 5 ton weight was dropped on us today… it is probably the worst day in this surreal journey. The doctor told us that the CT showed new tumors and that the Gemzar was no longer effective in fighting the cancer. Monday we begin the Flofloxinal (or whatever it is) as Glenn calls it; the nuclear option.

Father God, strengthen us, physically, emotionally and spiritually… We know that it is only through You that the healing comes; I ask Lord for Glenn’s healing to manifest. 

 In many ways I remember it like it was yesterday, but I am glad to say we are in a much better place today, thanks to the changes that were to follow during the end of June and early July. I'll talk about those more in the next entry.

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